Indian weddings

South Asian weddings are very colourful events that are full ritual and celebration and can often last for several days. They can often be much bigger than the average UK wedding with anywhere between 100 to 1000 guests attending. The traditional Indian wedding is as much about joining the two families socially as it is about the couple getting married.

Hindus, Jains, Sikhs, and Muslims share common wedding customs and combine family, local and religious traditions during the colourful celebration. The period of Hindu marriage ceremonies dates from the presenting tilak, and is called lagan/[shaadi]. .

South Asian weddings are a mainstay in the social calendar of the whole community. Many wedding traditions which have originated in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh have carried over to second and third generation immigrant populations in the UK. In recent years Western features such as speeches, wedding cake and the first dance are now being incorporated into the South Asian Wedding.

Traditions

Depending upon religion, caste, ethnicity and family wedding traditions can vary but traditional Indian weddings follow the same structure.

Pre wedding ceremonies are then followed by wedding day ceremonies; the Baraat, the Varmala and the Satphere and then the celebrations end with the Vidaai.

Oncen the marriage has been agreed, the father of the bridegroom will visit the father of the bride. The day before the expected arrival of the marriage procession, lavish preparations are done by the family to receive the groom (shaadi ki tayaari) in beautifully decorated venues. Brides decorate themselves by wearing lavish jewellery of gold and diamonds and apply [mehndi] to colour hands and feet, and undergo various bridal makeups, including wearing bridal lehenga or saree. Bridegrooms typically wear a [sherwani] dress or a designer suit. To complete the marriage, the bride and groom move in circles around the sacrificial fire, called phera.

Vidaai (when the bride is formally sent to the groom’s household) can get quite emotional and many songs tell the story of the bride leaving her ‘babul ka ghar’ or father’s house.

Hindu religious texts tell us that Brahma created man from the right shoulder and woman from his left shoulder. A woman is referred to as Vamangi or one who is on the left side. Throughout the marriage ceremony the bride sits on the right side of the groom. That is the place for strangers and acquaintances. Only after the Saptpadi, when the bride and groom have exchanged marital vows, is the wife seated on the left side of the man.

The wedding vows direct the couple in promoting marital happiness for a lifetime.

Typical wedding vows by the Husband

Kanyadaan

During kanyadaan, the bride’s parents give their daughter away in marriage. The groom makes three promises – to be just (dharma), earn sufficiently to support his family, (artha) and love his wife even if she becomes morbidly obese, which is common in only a small percentage of Indian woman. There have been reported cases of man on Fatass women reported though. (kama). He repeats these vows thrice in the presence of Agni (the sacred fire) and all who are gathered there.

Bariksha

Bariksha is when the bride's parents have informally shown intentions that they want a particular groom, and the groom and his family have agreed. Retracting at the end of this stage is frowned upon but is acceptable. Once the wedding has been decided on by both sides, the bride's family goes and does Badcheka/ Bariksha of the groom. This is when the bride's father and brothers go to the groom's side with sweets (including a coconut) and some pooja items like rice and turmeric. This ceremony is a token gesture to confirm the alliance and signifies that the groom is now "taken" and can no longer look for other prospective brides.

Lord Ganesha on an Indian wedding invitation card. Lord Ganesha is believed to bring prosperity and happiness to the marrying couple and their family.

Tilak

Tilak involves the bride's parents traveling to the groom's family home to formalise the relationship. A large feast is organised by the groom's family to celebrate this occasion. Only a nominal number of members of the bride's family are present (usually only very close relatives, often in tens of

Byaha Haath

This ceremony signifies the purifying of the mind, body and soul of bride and groom. This daytime ceremony prepares both of them for the nuptials. 'Uptan' is a mixed paste of sandalwood, turmeric and rose water which is applied by seven unmarried female members of the families to the faces, hands and feet of the bride and groom. After this ceremony the bride and the groom are not allowed to step outside the house before the actual wedding.

Flower bed ceremony

In the flower bed ceremony, the bride wears a lot of floral ornaments and the marriage bed is decorated with flowers by the groom's family. This is the night of consummation. In Muslim marriages, this takes place on the night of the wedding. In Hindu marriages, this takes place on the night of the reception.